I wrote this in a free form style (as the only other style I am actually good at Sonnets in the form of Shakespeare, and mine are horrible.) The inspiration came to me one night in a hot bath I had drawn after painting along to Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds by the Beatles. I used a bath wash that dyed the water a lovely shade of rose which put everything floating within it (including myself) in stark definition. One of my fiance's hair strands came floating along and from that was born this poem. It follows a 4,4,4,5 count by word, which I came up with during the same bath. The last stanza reverses it and follows a 5,4,5,4 count, again by word. Again, forgive me if this is awful.
"By Strands of Hair" by Jay Requard
By strands of hair
love found itself born,
mixed by fiery water,
a spirit of past aeons.
By strands of hair
therein found whole redemption,
the weight washed away,
a spirit laid to rest.
By strands of hair
cities would burn ashen,
blood would flow unhindered,
a spirit of wrath enthroned.
Yet by strands of hair,
the spirit chose otherwise.
By strands of her hair,
the spirit never faltered.
If you wish to let me know that you like this poem, you hate it, or if you have constructive criticism which *can* equal "stop writing poems", let me know below. Hope you are all doing well and see you soon!
It's beautiful. There is power in a single strand of hair. I still have a ring made for me by my first girlfriend. (Yes, cheesy Dragonlance style but I don't care) I love her hair, I still do. I still love her though she's not in my life anymore. But her spirit is. Your use of repetition works really well as do the images which in me evoke sacred times and seasons/changes. You could work such a poem into one of your short stories.
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